I got my hands on the new Justin Bieber song, "Dr. Bieber" (!!!!), and we don't even know where to start. But we'll try.
First of all, it's called "Dr. Bieber," and that thought alone -- the thought of Justin Bieber performing your routine physical -- is actually enough to send a lot of girls to the hospital.
Second, Justin's rapping (yes, rapping) about being a doctor. What kind of doctor? A Bieber Fever doctor. So meta.
Third, some of these lyrics are making even us blush, and we weren't exactly born yesterday: "You can be my queen, yeah I'll show you how I work it/How I work it, how I, how I work it." Dr. Bieber is going to show us how he works it? That's not legal for two more years.
The whole thing is a little on the silly side, and we're thinking this has to be a tongue-in-cheek joke about how crazy popular Justin Bieber is. On the other hand, this could be a legitimate song, in which case we think it's time we all acknowledge that Justin Bieber is...growing up.
The moral of the story: Justin Bieber is Dr. Bieber, and Dr. Bieber has the cure for your Bieber fever. And that cure is more Bieber.
+ Check out Justin Bieber's "Dr. Bieber" here! Don't faint!